You will need:

• One shoulder of lamb
• One large casserole dish
• 2 bottles champagne
• 9 bottles wine (2 white, 7 red)
• 2 parents
• 3 friends
• Gin
• One lime

Place the lamb in a tasty tagine.
Make a gin sorbet, a mackerel pate (process together mackerel fillets — watch the bones — Philly Light, Quark and freshly ground black pepper), fresh bread, an egg florentine in a ramekin per head, serve in slightly different order, follow with one delicious carrot cake, cream, cheese, cream, grapes and cream, then coffee (or don’t, if you forget).

Allow to settle and drink the wine. The result should be an admirable New Year.

Frankly, if you’re hoping for a close-up rose-tinted (or, if you think about things the way I tend to if unchecked, brown-tinted — and I don’t mean sepia) let’s-all-feel-good/bad about ourselves, this is probably the wrong place in which to sojourn, no matter how briefly. Continue reading →